my digital journal

got into a car wreck today, my luck this year has been awful, before you ask, yeah, i'm okay. i'll be okay. if i got hit any harder i wouldn't be here right now though, so.. not good. yeah, i know it's been a while. sorry.

It's been a few days since i typed here, apologies. not that i have a lot going on in my life at the moment other than some personal stuff, but there's a lot going on in my head. i feel as though i'm not going to be here much longer. it sounds suicidal but it's not. it's a feeling of impending doom. something i dread but at the same time feel every single day, like a daily blend of sickening dread and anxiety.

I cannot escape hate. it follows me everywhere, it follows me when I get scolded for no reason, it follows me when I get looked at like i'm foreign to earth for simply existing. I belong with the stars as the moon, I know someday the pain will end and then? will only know love and warmth.

Dear lord when i get to heaven, please let me bring my man. i feel almost sick to my core simping around for you, it makes me dizzy in the chest.

i need to take a pilgrimage to a different state, change my name, get a burner phone, and then, be free.